|Posted by Alyssa.fenix on July 8, 2014 at 9:45 AM|
Letter to my 15 year old self:
You are a special young lady. Celebrate your uniqueness...don't follow the crowd. That means respect your body and don't give it away to boys just to fit in. You can't take it back. Wait to have sex with someone who means something to you, preferably with the gender that you are attracted to. What I'm saying is, if I knew then what I know now, I would wait until I graduated from high school. I would get to know myself and take my time. I would listen to my heart. I would love myself and make sure I believe that I am enough. I don't need external validation, especially from some boy who doesn't even know or respect me. So yeah, I knew from about age 10 that I was attracted to girls, but unfortunately that was the mid-eighties and I didn't know anyone that was LGBT except Elton John! Regardless, I would take my time and not hurry into hetero relationships just to get attention (not love). It is okay to be alone. I should be my own best friend and treat myself with love and kindness. I am enough. Well that is a process that didn't start to unfold until age 27 when I got out of the military and started dating women. I felt more confident and strong enough to take backlash from friends and family. While I know coming out is a very personal decision, I wish I could have skipped the 10 years I dated guys and hide my sexual orientation. Hiding slowly eats away at your core and it takes time (and courage) to be live an authentic life. But it is so worth it!